genesis7

The Bible but Make it Gen Z: Genesis Chapter 7 🌧️
God slid into Noah's DMs like "aight bestie, time to move into that ark fr fr. You passed the vibe check when literally everyone else was being toxic."
God dropped the packing list requirements:- Seven pairs of clean animals (understanding the assignment)- Two pairs of unclean animals (keeping it minimal)- Seven pairs of birds (gotta keep the biodiversity on fleek)
Then God hit him with the weather forecast: "In seven days I'm dropping the biggest storm ever - 40 days and 40 nights straight. Everything else gets deleted from the server fr fr." ⛈️
Noah didn't even question the assignment - just straight up did everything God said. No cap, mans was 600 years old when this went down (aging like fine wine fr fr).
The whole fam pulled up to the ark:- Noah- His sons (the OG squad)- Their wives (period queen behavior)- All the animals (literal zoo check)
Animals were pulling up two by two like they were entering some ancient Noah's club 🐘🦒- Clean animals: ✅- Unclean animals: ✅- Birds: ✅- Creepy crawlies: ✅
Seven days later... the update dropped fr fr 💦
It was Noah's 600th year, second month, day 17 when:- The ocean floor said YEET and broke open- Sky started absolutely dumping water- Heaven's windows: OPEN- Earth's fountains: BROKEN- Hotel: Trivago (jk jk)
This rain wasn't playing - straight flooding for 40 days and 40 nights no cap. The whole squad was already in the ark:- Noah and the boys (Shem, Ham, Japheth)- All their wives- Every kind of animal (two by two, they definitely understood the assignment)
Then God himself closed the door behind them (most secure lockdown fr fr) 🔒
The water went absolutely feral:- Ark: Started floating- Mountains: Underwater- Hills: Can't even- Water level: 15 cubits above the highest mountain (that's deep fr fr)
Everything else got deleted from existence:- Humans: gone- Animals: gone- Birds: gone- Bugs: gone- Mountains: submerged- Earth: basically became Among Us because everything was underwater
The only survival squad was Noah and his ark crew - everyone else got wiped. Water stayed winning for 150 days straight. No cap, this was the biggest reset in history.
That's it, that's the tea ☕️
#GreatFlood #NoahsArkChronicles #DivineCleanse #BiblicalCheck #WaterWentCrazy