genesis15

The Bible but Make it Gen Z: Genesis Chapter 15 🌟✨
So after that whole war arc went down, God slides into Abram's DMs through a vision like:"Ay yo Abram, don't stress fr fr. I'm your protection AND your biggest W."
But Abram's going through it fr fr and hits back with:"God, respectfully... what's the point of all these Ws when I got zero kids? My inheritance bout to go to my employee Eliezer from Damascus like???" 💀
Abram's really in his feels: "No cap, you ain't blessed me with any kids, so my servant's gonna end up inheriting everything. That's kinda mid ngl."
But God said "Nah fam, that ain't it. You're gonna have your own kid fr fr. Trust the process."
Then God took him outside and said "Look up at the sky rn. Try counting those stars - you can't, there's too many fr fr. That's gonna be your descendants, no cap." ⭐️
And yo, Abram actually believed God - that's a major W in God's book fr fr. Pure faith = instant W.
God's like "Remember when I yoinked you out of Ur? That was me fr fr. This whole land? It's yours."
Abram's like "but how do I know for sure tho? 👀"
So God's like "bet - let's make this official. Get me a 3-year-old cow, a 3-year-old goat, a 3-year-old ram, plus a turtledove and a baby pigeon." (God really said specific requirements frfr)
Abram did the whole ritual thing - split the animals (except the birds), laid them out all proper. Had to keep shooing away these birds trying to steal the sacrifice (not today fam 😤).
Then things got mad spooky - Abram fell into this deep sleep and everything went dark dark. God dropped some heavy news:"Your descendants gonna have a rough patch fr fr - they're gonna be immigrants getting exploited for 400 years straight. BUT don't trip, I'm gonna handle that nation, and your people gonna leave with the BAG 💰. You'll live a long life tho dw."
"They'll come back here in the fourth generation - the Amorites ain't hit rock bottom yet."
After sunset, this whole supernatural thing happened - a smoking furnace and a lit torch passed between the animal pieces. God was making it official official.
That same day God dropped the full patch notes for the promised land:"This whole territory from Egypt to the Euphrates? It's your descendants' now."Then listed all the current occupants (the whole squad - Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaims, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites, and Jebusites) who were gonna have to hold this L.
And that's how God made it official with Abram fr fr no cap 💯✨